Life of....pui?
kaotique
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Name: Chez
Gender: Female


Interests: To figure out the meaning of my existence here on earth....
Expertise: Making logically illogical assumptions; bitching about everything under the sun.


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MSN: kaotique@msn.com


Member Since: 8/1/2003
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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Where has the time gone?!?

Well well, it has certainly been awhile since I've made any entries in the blog, guess one could say I've been having blogger's block.

My blogging hiatus has made me wonder why there were so many things I used to write or think about, yet I don't seem to have any of late. Perhaps my brain decided to go on sabbatical & just never came back.

So many things have happened, so many lives around me have changed, it's almost unrecognisable. I've been in a pretty interesting job which unfortunately is also highly stressful & a slave to KPIs. Things at work have been plodding along very slowly without much progress which is somewhat worrying as it reflects on one's ability to perform.

I've always wondered about it - if someone is a star performer, does it always mean that he or she will be a star in all situations or does the timing of a particular situation cropping up ultimately contribute to them becoming a star? Is the market you're in the determinant or is it really something else altogether.

I suppose if I knew any stars they might shed some light on the matter but unfortunately I don't know any so guess I'll be forever ignorant on this matter.


Sunday, January 02, 2011

It's a new year....

Woah, where has the time gone? I've already bid farewell to 2010 and grudgingly embraced 2011 plus getting another year older *sobs*, but hey that's life, it's not like I can get younger as the years go by. As far as new year/ birthday celebrations goes, it was a muted affair, in fact, there wasn't even an affair of any kind. No cake, no candles, no fancy party.... just me, my new PC and an early night to bed.

Some people would say that there's a sad way of welcoming the next year of my life but I suppose there is novelty in doing something for the first time. The only regret would be that le boyfriend is out of town in India, thus missing both his birthday and mine. In fact we were talking the other day about the fact that we've only ever physically been together to celebrate our birthdays once in the past 5 years.

I've already got people asking me what's next for the both of us, they all seem anxious for us to get married and start a life together; can't imagine why. I will admit, I am looking forward to the day where we can finally be together, living in the same country; but it's not something that I will rush until we're absolutely ready.

Well the countdown begins to the time when I can finally see him again, another 5 more days to go.

 


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Currently
Tin Man (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
By Zooey Deschanel, Neal McDonough, Alan Cumming, Richard Dreyfuss, Raoul Trujillo
see related

Life's Questions

"What do you want from your life?"

"If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?

"What makes you happy/sad?"

Lately I've been inundated with questions similar to those placed above. I'm wondering why the trend for these questions have surfaced yet again, perhaps human beings are once again starting to ponder about their existence and probably thinking about humanity's lifespan on this slowly decaying earth that we call home.

In my opinion, -most- people who ask these questions are really looking for the answer themselves and because they're so clueless about it, they want to hear from others and see if those thoughts or ideas can be "borrowed" to put into action in their own lives. At this point I can hear the universal moaning and groaning from people going... "Omg, that's so not true! I ask because I care..." blah blah blah. But c'mon, you know those type of people, after you've given them your answer they'll either be completely amazed at your responses and say "Wow, never thought of something like that", or through some cosmically-karmic planetary alignment bullshit, they'll tell you that what they want is so similar to yours. *raises eyebrows* Dolly the sheep, anyone?

But as I've been asked these questions, I've come to realise that the answer is usually thinned down to just 1 or at most 2 things. Why is that? Can one not want a plethora of things from their own lives without seeming greedy, dreamy, or just plain crazy? Can't I be a linguist who cooks like a 3 star Michelin chef and is a prima- ballerina that travels the world? I jest but I'm sure you get what I mean. Are the things we want from life supposed to be logical and make sense to the world at large or should it be just our lofty dreams which would most likely be unattainable no many how many years we may be live?

Comme d'habitude, I have no answer.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Currently
Kyo
By Le Chemin
see related

Wowzer!

It's certainly been a long interval since my last entry and I don't even think this blog is being read by anyone but me; and even I do it sporadically.

Unfortunately I've been habouring an unhealthy obsession that requires me to purge, hence I'm back here on my long-lost-kinda-almost-forgotten blog. I'm a closet American Idol fan, people who know me would laugh and choke if they knew how much I enjoy that cheesy reality show. But then again, this just goes to show that the people who know me, actually don't really know me after all. It's an oxymoron but hey, that's the story of my life. Although specifically my obsession stems from the recently concluded season of AI because of une personne aka person of my obsession.... Monsieur Adam Lambert. That voice of his is amazing, I wonder if he's insured it?

I have to admit the fact that he's gorgeous does give him an edge over others but it's like a Glambert fever spreading across the nations and it's not just contained in the USA. I truly hope he becomes an international super star, I reckon the entertainment world; particularly in the music industry; is sorely in need of an artiste like that.

In any case, I think I've satisfied my need for purging. Can't believe I have to get up in 7.5 hours to go to work. Life's a bi@tch! *sigh*


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Currently
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
By Oscar Wilde
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Sleepless nitezzzzz.....

It's another one of those nights again, where I'm just not in the mood to sleep. It used to be that I suspected I suffered from insomnia but I guess it is just my over-active mind that is the culprit. Although tonight I'm inclined to blame the novel which I was attempting to read from my iTouch. I was greatly intrigued by the first few chapters of Dorian Gray, so much so that I skipped ahead to the last chapter only to be even more confused about the story. So I gave up reading for the night and came online instead.

In the previous years, when I couldn't sleep, it was a simple act of going online and seeking solace (or rather, writing crap) in this blog or even just penning my thoughts down. Yet I find the urge to write down my thoughts has started to dwindle, it is rather alarming to discover that about myself; so here I am, in a sad attempt to find my literary self once again.

In a totally different subject matter altogether, I was talking with Nik about how people dealt with the loss of their partners or the so-called great love of their life. There are instances where some are able to move on and find happiness with a new person; and there are those who would rather spend a life of solitude than settle for anyone else. Nik called the former people those who would just "settle", while the latter group would be hard to come by especially in this day and age. I find myself wondering whether that is true. He says that even the both of us would settle if a particular circumstance was upon us, for example parents/ family, age, societal pressures or some other reason.

Sure, people would settle for something if the circumstance forced them into it but as a highly evolved species, wouldn't something within us be triggered when we put ourselves into a direction that is not correct? Perhaps that is why we hear of cases where supposedly happily married couples for over 2 decades suddenly breakdown because either the husband or wife found someone better or decided they needed to come out of the closet. These cases are jaw-dropping to hear about but I suspect they are more common than we suspect them to be. Which bodes the question of why didn't they just realise this 20 years earlier so as to avoid the hurt and complications that come with making the decision now. It is probably not a fair question, in retrospect, we've all found ourselves in compromising situations and it is only when looking back that we discover our mistakes.

Were we all taught to settle for something since young? In some situations, to settle seems like a really loser-like quality; yet in orders, it seems to be okay to settle. I suppose as Nik says, I need to find the gray area and be comfortable with it, not everything's painted in just black and white. Either that or I think I need to re-arrange my brain to have my thoughts in a more organised and concise manner, even reading my own blog is confusing me. Hmmm....




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